The Darkening
The Nakid heLL
Setting  DS 666  , er Sassy Space 69 :  Iwol and the crew of the intrepid return to find a somewhat disgruntled Booke sitting atop an emerald throne in the middle of the promenade. How can this be? The crew just tied Booke up and sent him through a wormhole!.... For the answer to this and many other questions you're dieing not to know, Read on brave reader, READ ON!

Iwol: Allright Booke, I don't know how you got back here so quickly, or where in the hell that throne came from, but I want your ass off my station NOW!!!
Booke: Captian! Such language is highly inapropriate when conversing with your new lord and master. And this is MY station, in case you didn't here me.
Iwol: Listen you litte shit in the ass bastard! Get down here NOW!!!!!
Booke: (smiling) Okay.
Booke jumps down next to Iwol.
Booke: Yeeaas?
Iwol: How in the HELL did you get back here?!!!
Booke: The Wormhole aliens.
Butthead: Snort?
Booke: Lets just say...We aren't the best of friends.
Iwol: I'm willing to forgive you, and make you my first officer again IF
Booke: Captain, I don't care.
Iwol: What?
Booke: I might be inclined to give you a position on MY station, such as, oh, I don't know...Janitor; IF
Iwol: Thats it. What was I thinking? The answer is so obvious! Get him boys!!
Booke: What?
Iwol: We're gonna tie you up and torture you untill you are normal again!!!...Well, as normal as you get.
As the disgruntled crew approaches Booke, he snaps his fingers and a shockwave knocks them all back. Buttheads eyes momentarily illuminate.
Iwol: What the hell?
Q Booke: Ha ha! I have my powers back!
Iwol: Q!
Q Booke: Yes?
Iwol: Q!
Q Booke: YES???
Iwol: Not you dumbass, the other Q!
Q Booke: He can't hear you anymore.......EVER!!!!
Iwol: Writer? Writer!
Q Booke: Ha ha ha ha ha!!
Booke snaps his fingers again. A padd appers in his hand and Buttheads eyes glow again.
Q Booke: You see this Captain? This is episode 8! I write history now!!
Iwol: I will find a way to murder your ass! I will kill you so help me...
Booke snaps his fingers again. Iwol finds himself in a straitjacket. Then several figures appear in the background. Buttheads eyes illuminate brightly.
Iwol: What the-
Singing emanates from the background.
Voice: I love you, you love me....
Iwol: No.... NO! Please,  NO!!
From out of the shadows emerges a plump purple dinosaur. With him come two slightly smaller ones; one yellow and one green.
Iwol: Damn it!! NO!!! O GOD PLEASE NO!!!!!
Everyone who is still mobile runs to kill the plush dinosaurs, but they run into an invisible barrier.
Dinosaurs: We love you, you love us, we're a happy-
Lore: I'm coming father!!
A high pitched sound comes from Lore...An overload. His body explodes in a shower of sparks. Data follows him shortly.
Korn: It is not honorable.
Korn stabs himself in the chest with his Klingon K'nife.
Anal: I never liked this world anyway.
Anal injects himself with something and dies shortly afterword.
Beefy suddenly swells up and pops.
Xenia: Oooh! I'm so enthralled!!!!!!!
Scotty: Captain! She cannae take much more!
Scotty then turns into a plate of haggis. Satan emmidately eats the entire plate and then dies.
Xenia: OOHH!!!!!!YYYYYEEEESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Xenia dies of a heart attack.
 All the Spock Ice in the station suddenly explodes in flames. Another massive explosian is heard as the intrepid's tanker pod (which is full of Spock Ice) ignights as well. The explosion destroys the intrepid.
Iwol: Damn it!! NOO!!!!!
Quin: You can't do this!! It's againt the laws of reality!! No main characters EVER DIE!!!.....Well, except maybe of old age.
Q Booke: Oh, yes. I'd almost forgot about you, Quin Xavier. Gee, thats an interesting name. You don't hear many people NOWADAYS with names like that.
Quin: As opposed to Booke?!!
Q Booke: Allright smartass! Why don't you just tell us alittle more about yourself?
Iwol: What are you babbleing about you damned son of a-
Q Booke: Silence!!!! Or the singing will continue!
Iwol remains quiet for the moment.
Q Booke: Gee, Quin. Don't you feel obligated to avenge your friends? Protect those still alive? Like Jadzea?
Quin: Leave her out of this Booke!!
Q Booke: HA ha ha ha ha! You wouldn't want me to kill her too, now would you? I'm mean, so few of the people you've loved ever lived long enough-
Quin: Shut up!
Q Booke: Lets see, there was Gwenevere Pendragon. Ooh, she died a nasty death. Nasty, nasty nasty.
Quin: Bastard!!!
Q Booke: Now, why is it she slit her throat? Oh, yes, she was-
Q Booke: Don't you see? Thats entirely the point! Now lets see, there was Cynthia Winter. She died in your arms at the ripe old age of-
Quin's eyes begin to glow bright blue.
Q Booke: Ahh, thats the stuff.
Butthead: Snort?
Iwol: What the HELL!
Q Booke: Silence! Now, Quin, why don't you try and stop me.
Quin: If I must, then so be it! You shall die, Booke! This I vow.
The room begins to crackle with energy. Buttheads eyes glow again, this time they stay glowing.
Xavier: Kulminous, benetae. Tes Le Gra tee. Youree tempae, et enterValea!!!!
A strange blue lightning like energy begins surging throughout the room. Most of it strikes Quin. Some of hit hits Butthead and her eyes glow even brighter. Quin begins to float in the air.
Iwol: (his voice barely audible over the roaring sound of the energy) MY GOD!!!!
Q Booke: (yawns) Boring! Tell us about "The Olde Code".
Xavier streches forth his hands towards Booke.
Xavier:  From hells heart,  I stab at thee!!!!
A blinding beam of light surges from Quin's hands. As it hits Booke, the room is suddenly flooded by another blinding light. Silence.
While, Iwol's eyes adjust again, he hears someone slowly clapping. It's Booke.
Q Booke: (still clapping) Bravo. Bravo. A Sassy performance.
Exausted, Quin has collapsed on his hands and knees.
Quin: NO!
Q Booke: Yes! You pitiful little man. Do you think you could stand a chance against one who is omnipotent? By the way, do see that rock?
Quin: No.
Booke snaps his fingers and a rock appears next to Quin. Butthead's eyes glow even brighter.
Q Booke: That one. Pick it up. Do it!
Quin picks up the rock.
Q Booke: Now slave, Bash your head with it!!!!
Quin begins uncontrollably bashing his head with the rock.
Q Booke: Do you remember that? Okay, stop.
Quin stops.
Q Booke: Ha ha ha ha ha. What, to weak to fight me? You're out of practice.
Quin: Bastard! I will have your head!!!!
Q Booke: Okay, I've had enough with you. I may not be able to kill you, but I can put you where you won't recover for a long, long time. Bye bye.
Booke snaps his fingers and Quin dissapears.
Iwol: You bastard! I don't what the hell just happened, but  I do know-
Q Booke: You know nothing Captain! Thats the problem with you. With all of you!  You're too damn stupid to understand me!!       By the way, lets take a look see at Quin.
Booke snaps his fingers and suddenly a video screen appears and floats infront of everyone.
Q Booke: On screen!
On the screen we see space. Then a flash of a light and Quin appears. The vaccuum of space causes Quin swell, then violently explode, splattering blood, various organs and their  fluid accross the screen.
Butthead: SNORT!!
Iwol: Bastard!
Q Booke: What did I tell you?...Blarney, I believe our friends here wish to hear more music.
Iwol: NO!
Blarney and friends: I love you, you love me, we're a happy fa-
Butthead lowers her head and closes her now glowing eyes. Iwol's straitjacket falls off. A phaser rifle flies into his hands.
Iwol: DIE you bastards!!
Iwol quickly vaporizes the hellspawn and then turns the phaser on Booke.
Q Booke: I don't think so.
Booke snaps his fingers and Iwol freezes.
Q Booke: Ha ha ha ha ha!!
Butthead: SNORT!!!!!!!!!!

Several hours later
Iwol suddenly regains conciousness. He looks over to the throne and sees Booke sleeping. Iwol aims his phaser at the sleeping Booke.
Butthead: (whispering) Snort.
Iwol: (whispering) What else can I do?
Butthead:(whispering) Snort snort moo snort moo snort.
Iwol:(whispering) Of course!
Iwol slowly sneaks over to the throne. He picks up the padd and  fiddles around with it.
Iwol:(Whispering) I can only get access to the very last part.
He fiddles with the controls some more.
Iwol:(Whispering) I hope this works.
Iwol writes that all of the crew come back to life.
Iwol: Well?
Nothing happens.
Iwol writes that the writer appears.
Nothing happens.
Butthead: Snort?
Iwol: Damnit!
Q Booke: Mommy? Is that you?
Iwol: Uhh, no honey, go back to sleep.
Q Booke: Oh, okay daddy.
Butthead: (whispering) Snort!
Iwol: (whispering) Sorry. But what you mean we can't rewrite something thats allready been done.
Butthead:(whispering) Snort.
Iwol: (whispering) Damn Chronological Order! How are we going to get the crew back?
Butthead: (whispering)snort.
Iwol: (whispering) What do you mean we can't? There has to be a way!
Butthead: (whispering) Snort.
Iwol:(whispering) You can do that?
Butthead:(whispering) Snort.
Iwol: (whispering) What good will that do? But, it's the only thing we've got... Do it.
Butthead: (whispering) SNort.
Iwol:(whispering) Write what? Are you shure this will work? Couldn't I just write that Booke give you all his-
Butthead:(whispering) SNORT.
Iwol:(whispering) Oh, I see. I'm not so sure he won't figure out what we're doing anyway...Then again, this is Booke.
Iwol starts to write.

Booke awakens, and for reasons he can't figure out himself, Booke begins using his powers
to transport himself throughout the station. Everytime he does so
Butthead's eyes illuminate.
Booke: Wait.... why am I doing this?
Iwol: Did you get enough?
Butthead: Snort
Iwol: damnit! Can you find another way to draw power?
Booke sees them talking and teleports over. He uses his powers to make a
huge light above them.
Booke: What  are you talking about?
Butthead smiles. Her eyes turn red. A powerful wind blows throughout the
station, sparks fly, and a glow appears around her and Iwol.
Iwol: goodbye
They vanish.
Booke: What the.....
Booke sighs.
Booke: it's lonely. So lonely.

The END Yeah, you  heard  right. THE END!!!!!